Someday, the games will end. But if it's still fun, play on

Walking away from a sport you love can be hard, but it's something everyone will have to do at some point. The best case scenario is that you get to do it on your terms -- like after a Hall of Fame professional career, or after a National Championship, or something. But for the vast majority of us, the end of our athletic careers won't be nearly so romantic.

My son isn't ready to stop playing yet. He's in college now, and while he's having the time of his life reinventing himself away from home, making new friends, and enjoying all types of new experiences, he just doesn't want to let go of playing organized sport right now. So, last weekend, he tried out for the college's club lacrosse team.

To be honest, my wife and I weren't happy he did that.

He was never a good athlete, which kind of broke our hearts, because he so badly wanted to be. And what made it even more poignant was that his younger brother turned out to be a really good athlete -- the kind of kid who could play any sport he wanted, and be a star in all of them.

Sports were never so kind to our oldest son, though.

It wasn't all bad, to be fair. He had one coach in junior football who took a liking to him and went out of his way to make certain he had a good experience. But in the years he played for other coaches, it wasn't so good, and finally, after he had the worst year of his life as a member of the high school's freshman football team, he gave up the sport and switched to rec soccer, which he liked a lot. 

Lacrosse was, overall, better to him than football. He played JV two years and varsity two years and while he didn't play as much as he probably expected to his senior year, he did get to play with his brother, and really seemed to get closer to him. He scored a couple goals on the season, the team did well, and he generally seemed at peace with how his high school career finished up.

To me, that seemed like a good way to go out. After all, only a few of his high school classmates are playing sports in college at the varsity or club level, so, if he doesn't play a sport in college, he'd be just like most people. And he'd have more time to explore all the things that college has to offer.

But he just wasn't done with sports yet. He loves being on a team, and he loves lacrosse. So the way he saw it, why not give this a shot, just like he's giving lots of other stuff a shot? He promised his mother that he'd be OK if he didn't make the team, and I suppose if he really will be OK with whatever happens, then we'll have to be OK with it, too.

Good and bad, sports have meant a lot to him over the years, and yes, eventually, someday he will have to stop playing. But if he can make a team, then that day doesn't have to be today. 

Sometimes a backup role is the best way to help the team

The new high school football season is underway, and my son is playing on the varsity, which has won its first two games. That's the good news.

The bad news, for him, is he isn't playing as much as he had expected he would.

Since the team is winning, he can't complain. And he hasn't. My wife asked him a couple times if he's happy with how much playing time he's been getting, and he admitted he'd like to play more, but said he understands what's going on. I do too, and I view this as yet another life lesson that football teaches: Sometimes in sports -- and in life -- an individual is going to have to make sacrifices in order help the team.

I should point out that my son, a junior, has played roughly half of the defensive snaps over the first two games, so don't feel too sorry for him. He hasn't played yet on offense, though, and that is where the disappointment is. Our high school is a small school, and the best players usually play both offense and defense.

Sometimes it's different when you're a quarterback, however. In junior football one year, the coaches wouldn't let him play in the "A'' games because they didn't want to take a chance he might get hurt, and then they wouldn't have anyone to play quarterback in the "B'' games. Then, in the B games, they wouldn't let him play defense for the same reason.

This year, my son had hoped to play receiver, but because he played quarterback on the JV team last season, the coaches had him competing for the starting quarterback position rather than a starting receiver position. Ultimately, he didn't win the quarterback job (he was always a longshot), and by the time he finally got moved to receiver, the receiver rotation was set -- without him in it.

There's a chance that if he'd been playing receiver all summer, he'd be in the playing rotation now. But by playing quarterback -- and playing well enough to extend the competition the entire summer -- he pushed his competitor to lift his own game in order to earn the starting job. And because he played well enough to earn the coaches' confidence, it's given them the freedom to allow the starting quarterback to play defense, too, which makes the defense better, as well.

Of course, my son would prefer to be on the field. But in this case, his being a backup quarterback is still a significant contribution to the team. It's as the poet John Milton explained so perfectly with the last line of his poem, On His Blindness: "They also serve who only stand and wait.''