I just spent a great weekend in Providence, R.I., with my son, who had the opportunity to go there to play in an extra lacrosse tournament one week after his summer season had officially ended. His club ran the tournament, and apparently they needed one more team to fill out one of the brackets. So they invited a number of players from my son's team and some of the club's other teams to go to Providence as a combined unit and play.
All of the parents I talked to understood that the combined team wasn't likely to win many -- or any -- games. How could it, when the players only met one another and their coach an hour before the first game? But all of us just thought it was nice to get one more opportunity for our boys to play, have fun, and develop their games a little more. The scores ended up being pretty ugly, but I think the boys had a good time playing lacrosse and spending the weekend in a cool city with neat stuff to see and do.
For all young athletes, summer is the time when they can make big improvements in their skills by working on them on their own, or with a friend, or even with you! And if they spend time polishing old skills, learning new ones, or trying to eliminate their weaknesses, that may pay off big time next season.
Many kids have the option to attend various sports camps in the summer, where they can spend a week or more immersing themselves in a particular sport. My youngest son has been playing in a weekly organized pickup lacrosse game and one of his friends who also plays in the games has shown himself to be a much better player since the spring season ended because he's been going to a lacrosse camp. But even if your kids don't go to any camps (mine didn't, because, frankly, we couldn't afford it), they can still help themselves by spending some time every day working on their individual skills.
They don't have to shoot 500 shots every day, like some college or NBA basketball players do, but even a few minutes a day may be enough to help improve their games while keeping them from getting bored. Today, on one of the hottest days of the summer so far, my little guy went outside to throw a lacrosse ball against the wall. Many other days, he's out shooting baskets in the backyard. And as soon as we find his football, we're going to go play catch with that, too.
And this is where you can help, parents. Take advantage of all the daylight you have in the summer and play catch with your kids. Or kick a soccer ball around with them. After all, there's no reason you can't have fun, too!
Monday, July 20, 2015
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Daddyball: The ugly truth
"Daddyball.''
It's an ugly word in youth sports, one that people throw around a little too often, and usually with more than a little bitterness.
The simplest definition of Daddyball is that it's what happens when parent coaches of youth teams favor their sons or daughters over other players on the team. It's often exacerbated by the fact that the assistant coaches' kids may get favored treatment, too, and sometimes so do the coaches' kids' friends, or their friends' kids.
But generally, if the coaches are good guys, and they work diligently and treat all the children fairly, most parents won't mind if their kids get a little extra benefit, as long as it doesn't go too far. A lot of times, the coaches' kids are the better players anyway, so they'd likely get the most playing time and play the most key positions no matter who was coaching.
A former co-worker of mine once told me his father coached his baseball team when he was 12 years old and his dad called a parent meeting before the season and brought him over to introduce him to the team's parents. He told the parents, "This is my son. He will play every inning of every game. That's my reward for all the hours and all the work I'll be putting in coaching this team.''
I wish every coach would do the same thing. According to my friend's memory, most of the parents of his team were OK with his playing all the time, because his dad was up front about his intentions. And while he did play every inning, he didn't play them all at shortstop. He moved around to different positions.
The real problems usually start when the coach's son or daughter isn't one of the team's best players. When that's the case, the coach will try to find a spot for his or her kid to fit in, generally one that is a somewhat featured position, but not the most prominent spot. One guy I knew made his son the backup quarterback, where he got to practice the position, but didn't play much in the games. A friend of mine confided to me some years back that perhaps he did favor his son on the travel baseball team one year. But he said he was worried if he didn't favor him, he would have ruined their relationship. "I had to be a father first and a coach second,'' he told me.
I should make it clear, not all parent coaches favor their kids. In fact, sometimes coaches actually go the other way, and are harder on their own kids, either because they are sensitive about perceptions, or because they just have higher expectations for their own kids, or whatever.
Having three sons with different levels of athletic ability, I believe my kids have, in some cases, benefited from Daddyball, or been hurt by it. My personal experience is that it's the average to above-average athlete who's most vulnerable when the coaches are playing Daddyball. The unathletic kid probably doesn't have high expectations to start, and the athletic kid will be fine, because the coaches need to feature the best athletes if they want to win (which they usually do). But the kid that's somewhere in between could lose playing time to an equal or lesser athlete who has an advocate on the coaching staff. Or they may get stuck playing a position they don't like, or they may not even make the team in the first place.
If you think your son or daughter is a victim of Daddyball, of course, it can be very frustrating. Your first move should be to talk to your child -- and by talk, I don't mean bad-mouthing the coaching staff -- to find out what he or she is feeling and offer moral support. After that, you can talk (calmly and civilly) to the coach about your concerns; look into joining the coaching staff, and maybe, ultimately, consider joining a club team coached by paid or volunteer coaches.
If a club team isn't an option, try to find ways to make the best of it, at least in the short term. When my son didn't make the town travel basketball team last winter, he played all that much harder on the rec team, and he spent all his free time practicing in the driveway to get better so he can make it next year. I have to say, I like his determination.
It's an ugly word in youth sports, one that people throw around a little too often, and usually with more than a little bitterness.
The simplest definition of Daddyball is that it's what happens when parent coaches of youth teams favor their sons or daughters over other players on the team. It's often exacerbated by the fact that the assistant coaches' kids may get favored treatment, too, and sometimes so do the coaches' kids' friends, or their friends' kids.
But generally, if the coaches are good guys, and they work diligently and treat all the children fairly, most parents won't mind if their kids get a little extra benefit, as long as it doesn't go too far. A lot of times, the coaches' kids are the better players anyway, so they'd likely get the most playing time and play the most key positions no matter who was coaching.
A former co-worker of mine once told me his father coached his baseball team when he was 12 years old and his dad called a parent meeting before the season and brought him over to introduce him to the team's parents. He told the parents, "This is my son. He will play every inning of every game. That's my reward for all the hours and all the work I'll be putting in coaching this team.''
I wish every coach would do the same thing. According to my friend's memory, most of the parents of his team were OK with his playing all the time, because his dad was up front about his intentions. And while he did play every inning, he didn't play them all at shortstop. He moved around to different positions.
The real problems usually start when the coach's son or daughter isn't one of the team's best players. When that's the case, the coach will try to find a spot for his or her kid to fit in, generally one that is a somewhat featured position, but not the most prominent spot. One guy I knew made his son the backup quarterback, where he got to practice the position, but didn't play much in the games. A friend of mine confided to me some years back that perhaps he did favor his son on the travel baseball team one year. But he said he was worried if he didn't favor him, he would have ruined their relationship. "I had to be a father first and a coach second,'' he told me.
I should make it clear, not all parent coaches favor their kids. In fact, sometimes coaches actually go the other way, and are harder on their own kids, either because they are sensitive about perceptions, or because they just have higher expectations for their own kids, or whatever.
Having three sons with different levels of athletic ability, I believe my kids have, in some cases, benefited from Daddyball, or been hurt by it. My personal experience is that it's the average to above-average athlete who's most vulnerable when the coaches are playing Daddyball. The unathletic kid probably doesn't have high expectations to start, and the athletic kid will be fine, because the coaches need to feature the best athletes if they want to win (which they usually do). But the kid that's somewhere in between could lose playing time to an equal or lesser athlete who has an advocate on the coaching staff. Or they may get stuck playing a position they don't like, or they may not even make the team in the first place.
If you think your son or daughter is a victim of Daddyball, of course, it can be very frustrating. Your first move should be to talk to your child -- and by talk, I don't mean bad-mouthing the coaching staff -- to find out what he or she is feeling and offer moral support. After that, you can talk (calmly and civilly) to the coach about your concerns; look into joining the coaching staff, and maybe, ultimately, consider joining a club team coached by paid or volunteer coaches.
If a club team isn't an option, try to find ways to make the best of it, at least in the short term. When my son didn't make the town travel basketball team last winter, he played all that much harder on the rec team, and he spent all his free time practicing in the driveway to get better so he can make it next year. I have to say, I like his determination.
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Spring into action -- but try not to overschedule
Why is spring always the craziest time of the year for youth sports?
With the move by all sports to have more of a year-round presence, it seems that every sport has a spring season. Soccer, basketball and hockey all offer spring seasons, and that means a lot of kids find themselves playing multiple sports in the spring. This makes for some hectic weekends for families, especially families who have several kids playing multiple sports at the same time.
For the most part, it's hectic, but fun. But parents do need to use common sense and not fall prey to too much overscheduling.
In our area, lacrosse is getting more and more popular every year, for boys and girls. And a lot of kids who are already playing baseball or softball are starting to try lacrosse. Since some of those kids are also playing travel soccer, that means they are juggling three sports in the same season. And in our particular town, kids are required to play baseball and softball in the recreation league if they want to play on the travel teams, which means a kid playing travel baseball/softball is also playing rec baseball/softball. So if he or she is also playing travel soccer and lacrosse, that means simultaneously playing on four teams, in three sports.
The kids want to play everything, of course, which is as it should be. But as parents, sometimes we have to take a hard look at all the logistics and make more practical decisions. With all the games and practices and unavoidable conflicts, what ends up happening a lot of the time is the kids don't get enough practice time for a particular sport. They prioritize the games over the practices, which is reasonable. But if they don't practice, it's tough to have success in the games. And that's not fair to the kid or the team that is counting on the kid to be the best player he or she can be.
A couple years ago, my son's lacrosse team had the misfortune of having its practices scheduled for the same time as the soccer team. We had several soccer players on the lacrosse team and it ended up that most of the lacrosse practices were poorly attended -- usually with less than half the roster showing up. With so few kids, the coaches weren't able to go over things like offensive plays or defensive positioning, and every practice, all they could do at practice was just work on the most elementary skills. So on game days, our kids could run fast and throw and catch well enough, but they often didn't know where to go on the field. The result was a lot of lopsided losses that season.
Multiple sport conflicts are going to be unavoidable when kids are young and still trying to sample everything and figure out what sports they want to play. But as they get older, eventually, kids are going to have to start to narrow down the number of sports they play. If your kid is missing practice twice a week for a particular sport and is only playing a half of a game on the weekend because he or she has to leave and go somewhere else to play another sport, it might be time to cut back.
With the move by all sports to have more of a year-round presence, it seems that every sport has a spring season. Soccer, basketball and hockey all offer spring seasons, and that means a lot of kids find themselves playing multiple sports in the spring. This makes for some hectic weekends for families, especially families who have several kids playing multiple sports at the same time.
For the most part, it's hectic, but fun. But parents do need to use common sense and not fall prey to too much overscheduling.
In our area, lacrosse is getting more and more popular every year, for boys and girls. And a lot of kids who are already playing baseball or softball are starting to try lacrosse. Since some of those kids are also playing travel soccer, that means they are juggling three sports in the same season. And in our particular town, kids are required to play baseball and softball in the recreation league if they want to play on the travel teams, which means a kid playing travel baseball/softball is also playing rec baseball/softball. So if he or she is also playing travel soccer and lacrosse, that means simultaneously playing on four teams, in three sports.
The kids want to play everything, of course, which is as it should be. But as parents, sometimes we have to take a hard look at all the logistics and make more practical decisions. With all the games and practices and unavoidable conflicts, what ends up happening a lot of the time is the kids don't get enough practice time for a particular sport. They prioritize the games over the practices, which is reasonable. But if they don't practice, it's tough to have success in the games. And that's not fair to the kid or the team that is counting on the kid to be the best player he or she can be.
A couple years ago, my son's lacrosse team had the misfortune of having its practices scheduled for the same time as the soccer team. We had several soccer players on the lacrosse team and it ended up that most of the lacrosse practices were poorly attended -- usually with less than half the roster showing up. With so few kids, the coaches weren't able to go over things like offensive plays or defensive positioning, and every practice, all they could do at practice was just work on the most elementary skills. So on game days, our kids could run fast and throw and catch well enough, but they often didn't know where to go on the field. The result was a lot of lopsided losses that season.
Multiple sport conflicts are going to be unavoidable when kids are young and still trying to sample everything and figure out what sports they want to play. But as they get older, eventually, kids are going to have to start to narrow down the number of sports they play. If your kid is missing practice twice a week for a particular sport and is only playing a half of a game on the weekend because he or she has to leave and go somewhere else to play another sport, it might be time to cut back.
Friday, March 13, 2015
When is it time to take sports away?
I love watching sports as much as the next guy, obviously. But I never forget there are things in life more important than sports. So when I read about scandals involving athletes behaving badly, or I hear about student-athletes who don't seem to buy the idea that their academics should come before their athletics, I can't help but shake my head.
It's easy to say kids who aren't good kids, or who aren't doing what they need to do in the classroom shouldn't be allowed to play sports. But the reality is, it's more complicated than that.
Kids who are bullies or otherwise are behavior problems, that's one thing. But for kids who struggle academically, sometimes sports are an important outlet for them. A kid who has a hard time in the classroom but excels on the playing field may benefit from playing sports because it allows him or her to have a chance to feel good about himself or herself. Taking sports away from that kid, either as a punishment or an effort to give him or her more time to focus on the academic side, may actually do more harm than good overall.
My wife and I have a slightly different problem. One of our sons has been struggling in school of late. Not with the work, so much, as with the motivation to do the work. He's a smart kid and has always been a fine student. But seemingly all of a sudden, he's just stopped trying. We've tried everything we can think of -- yelling at him, reasoning with him, pleading with him, grounding him, enlisting his teachers' and coaches' help -- but so far nothing has worked. Taking sports away from him is the last card we have to play.
There's a lot to consider, however. First off, we're hoping this is simply a phase he's going through and he'll snap out of it eventually. He's a seventh grader, after all, and that's a tough and confusing time in a boy's life. We don't want to overreact. Second, we've spent money for him to play, so if he doesn't play, we've lost that money. And somewhere in the equation, there's the matter of how much the team needs him. He's a good athlete who works hard in practice, hustles on the field, and generally makes smart and timely plays that help the team. So taking him off the team hurts not only him, but the entire team. Do we want to hurt the entire team to make a point to our son?
But most importantly, there's this: taking sports away is the nuclear option. What if we do that and it doesn't work?
One of my friends pulled his son off the football team last fall because he felt he had run out of options, given his son's general attitude and behavior. I applauded my friend's strength in making this decision at the time. Now, though, my friend's son is insisting he doesn't intend to go back to football next season. He's 12 years old, and we presume he'll change his mind, but we can't be sure he will.
And so, with our son, we keep trying new things. We're in constant contact with his teachers, and we do hold him back from some of the extra things he enjoys doing. But pulling him from a team? That's a big step, one that may be a little too big for us right now. Still, it's a step we're always wondering if we'll ever have to take.
It's easy to say kids who aren't good kids, or who aren't doing what they need to do in the classroom shouldn't be allowed to play sports. But the reality is, it's more complicated than that.
Kids who are bullies or otherwise are behavior problems, that's one thing. But for kids who struggle academically, sometimes sports are an important outlet for them. A kid who has a hard time in the classroom but excels on the playing field may benefit from playing sports because it allows him or her to have a chance to feel good about himself or herself. Taking sports away from that kid, either as a punishment or an effort to give him or her more time to focus on the academic side, may actually do more harm than good overall.
My wife and I have a slightly different problem. One of our sons has been struggling in school of late. Not with the work, so much, as with the motivation to do the work. He's a smart kid and has always been a fine student. But seemingly all of a sudden, he's just stopped trying. We've tried everything we can think of -- yelling at him, reasoning with him, pleading with him, grounding him, enlisting his teachers' and coaches' help -- but so far nothing has worked. Taking sports away from him is the last card we have to play.
There's a lot to consider, however. First off, we're hoping this is simply a phase he's going through and he'll snap out of it eventually. He's a seventh grader, after all, and that's a tough and confusing time in a boy's life. We don't want to overreact. Second, we've spent money for him to play, so if he doesn't play, we've lost that money. And somewhere in the equation, there's the matter of how much the team needs him. He's a good athlete who works hard in practice, hustles on the field, and generally makes smart and timely plays that help the team. So taking him off the team hurts not only him, but the entire team. Do we want to hurt the entire team to make a point to our son?
But most importantly, there's this: taking sports away is the nuclear option. What if we do that and it doesn't work?
One of my friends pulled his son off the football team last fall because he felt he had run out of options, given his son's general attitude and behavior. I applauded my friend's strength in making this decision at the time. Now, though, my friend's son is insisting he doesn't intend to go back to football next season. He's 12 years old, and we presume he'll change his mind, but we can't be sure he will.
And so, with our son, we keep trying new things. We're in constant contact with his teachers, and we do hold him back from some of the extra things he enjoys doing. But pulling him from a team? That's a big step, one that may be a little too big for us right now. Still, it's a step we're always wondering if we'll ever have to take.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Jack of all trades, or master of one?
There are so many options for kids playing sports today, and one of those options is to play a single sport year-round. If your kid likes basketball, there are fall leagues and spring leagues and summer leagues you can sign him/her up for. If baseball is your thing, you can play in the spring, summer and fall, and then do winter training indoors until it's time to go back outside again.
My kids play a different sport every season, but that model isn't for everybody. Some kids only love one sport, or, for whatever reason, only want to play one sport. Hey, whatever works.
My kids play a different sport every season, but that model isn't for everybody. Some kids only love one sport, or, for whatever reason, only want to play one sport. Hey, whatever works.
The main thing that matters is parents need to be sure that it's the player who's making the decision to specialize in a single sport, and not a coach or a club team that is pushing for a year-round commitment too soon. I remember years ago, friends of my wife and I telling us they'd been encouraged by their daughter's gymnastics club to have their daughter give up all other sports and start dedicating her time to gymnastics only. She was, I think, 6 or 7 years old at the time. Our friends declined.
So, while understanding that some kids are just going to be one-sport kids, for the majority, it's probably better to play multiple sports over the course of a year. It helps with conditioning, of course, but also exercises different muscles, and helps avert boredom. And sometimes, lessons learned playing one sport can even help in another. My friend Jim, who coaches high school and youth lacrosse, believes kids should play more than one sport for as long as they can. Multi-sport athletes are "well-rounded,'' Jim said, and that's a good thing.
But the most important benefit to playing multiple sports often is the simplest one: For some folks, doing the same thing all the time, all year-round, can eventually start to feel like more of a job than fun. Never forget -- sports are supposed to be fun.
"The biggest thing is, if they play different sports, you avoid the kids 'burning out,''' Jim said. "You keep them fresh by changing it up.''
Try not to take it too far, though. Multiple sports in a year is one thing; multiple sports in a season is something completely different. Sometimes, it can't be helped -- like, if your kid plays travel soccer, there's usually has a spring season as well as a fall season. That means if a travel soccer player also wants to play a "spring sport,'' like baseball or lacrosse, mom and dad are going to be in for a crazy spring.
So, while understanding that some kids are just going to be one-sport kids, for the majority, it's probably better to play multiple sports over the course of a year. It helps with conditioning, of course, but also exercises different muscles, and helps avert boredom. And sometimes, lessons learned playing one sport can even help in another. My friend Jim, who coaches high school and youth lacrosse, believes kids should play more than one sport for as long as they can. Multi-sport athletes are "well-rounded,'' Jim said, and that's a good thing.
But the most important benefit to playing multiple sports often is the simplest one: For some folks, doing the same thing all the time, all year-round, can eventually start to feel like more of a job than fun. Never forget -- sports are supposed to be fun.
"The biggest thing is, if they play different sports, you avoid the kids 'burning out,''' Jim said. "You keep them fresh by changing it up.''
Try not to take it too far, though. Multiple sports in a year is one thing; multiple sports in a season is something completely different. Sometimes, it can't be helped -- like, if your kid plays travel soccer, there's usually has a spring season as well as a fall season. That means if a travel soccer player also wants to play a "spring sport,'' like baseball or lacrosse, mom and dad are going to be in for a crazy spring.
Friday, February 27, 2015
It's good to win -- just not at all costs
The most famous thing the legendary Vince Lombardi ever said was that winning isn't everything; it's the only thing. It's a catchy line when you're talking about pro football, but not so much in youth sports.
Because, you see, in youth sports, winning is most definitely not the only thing. In youth sports, it's more important the kids have fun, develop their skills and understanding of the game, and maybe soak up a few life lessons along the way.
Because, you see, in youth sports, winning is most definitely not the only thing. In youth sports, it's more important the kids have fun, develop their skills and understanding of the game, and maybe soak up a few life lessons along the way.
I'm not saying winning isn't important; on the contrary, it's very important, because young players need to understand that, as the former Jets coach Herm Edwards said, you play to win the game. Young athletes need to learn that there are things a player needs to do if he or she wants to win: The player must work hard in practice, and often on his or her own time, outside of practice, to sharpen his or her skills; and he or she must make sacrifices where he or she puts the team first ahead of himself or herself.
But in youth sports, it's not about winning at all costs. And the coach needs to balance the need to win with the need to develop players. Developing players should always be a youth coach's top priority (after safety, of course), and that's where it can get complicated.
Kids always want to play for a winning team, so a coach who has a winning record will likely have lots of good players wanting to play for him or her. And attracting the best athletes is the best way to keep a team winning year after year. But if the coach is winning because he or she is consistently playing the best players the entire game and leaving the weakest players on the sideline, that's not good.
Friends of mine in the youth coaching business say a youth coach who consistently wins and wins big, may be doing so because he or she is developing teams to win, and not players. My friends believe a youth coach's job ought to be to teach his or her players the necessary skills; help them improve those skills, and then, through good tactics and play-calling, put the players in position to be able succeed on the field. It then becomes up to the players to win the game. If their skills and understanding of the game are good enough, they should win their share.
The other thing about youth sports that people sometimes seem to forget is that kids all grow and mature at different rates, and the best players on the second grade team aren't necessarily going to be the best players on the high school team. Some may not grow as much as others, or maybe they discover new pursuits and lose interest in the sport over the years. Conversely, there are kids who may not look like stars when they first start playing, but then they start to grow and change, and they end up being stars when they're older.
No matter how good or bad a kid looks when he or she is young, you can't know for certain what that kid will grow up to be. Keeping that in mind, I always figured the best course of action was to try and develop all the kids, and not just the best ones. That means playing everyone on the roster, and not leaving the starters in the entire game. It may mean a few less victories when the kids are little, but someday the high school coach may thank you.
But in youth sports, it's not about winning at all costs. And the coach needs to balance the need to win with the need to develop players. Developing players should always be a youth coach's top priority (after safety, of course), and that's where it can get complicated.
Kids always want to play for a winning team, so a coach who has a winning record will likely have lots of good players wanting to play for him or her. And attracting the best athletes is the best way to keep a team winning year after year. But if the coach is winning because he or she is consistently playing the best players the entire game and leaving the weakest players on the sideline, that's not good.
Friends of mine in the youth coaching business say a youth coach who consistently wins and wins big, may be doing so because he or she is developing teams to win, and not players. My friends believe a youth coach's job ought to be to teach his or her players the necessary skills; help them improve those skills, and then, through good tactics and play-calling, put the players in position to be able succeed on the field. It then becomes up to the players to win the game. If their skills and understanding of the game are good enough, they should win their share.
The other thing about youth sports that people sometimes seem to forget is that kids all grow and mature at different rates, and the best players on the second grade team aren't necessarily going to be the best players on the high school team. Some may not grow as much as others, or maybe they discover new pursuits and lose interest in the sport over the years. Conversely, there are kids who may not look like stars when they first start playing, but then they start to grow and change, and they end up being stars when they're older.
No matter how good or bad a kid looks when he or she is young, you can't know for certain what that kid will grow up to be. Keeping that in mind, I always figured the best course of action was to try and develop all the kids, and not just the best ones. That means playing everyone on the roster, and not leaving the starters in the entire game. It may mean a few less victories when the kids are little, but someday the high school coach may thank you.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Let's not forget: they're kids, not pros
I've been thinking about starting a blog on youth sports for a while now.
As a professional sports writer for over 20 years, I've spent most of my working life watching the best athletes in the world playing sports at the highest levels. And as a father of three young sons who all play sports, I spend much of my home life watching my kids and their friends play sports at the youth level. I love sports, at all levels. I love watching the pros do what they do, and I love watching the kids too. But I never look at the kids and mistake them for professional athletes.
Too often, I fear that some other folks have a harder time making the distinction between the two.
Here's what I see happening at the youth level: Youth sports are becoming too serious. They've become -- at the travel level, anyway -- too much like professional sports. The notion of playing sports because they're fun seems to have gotten lost, as coaches seem more concerned with winning than anything else. And everything seems to be about money.
Seven-year-olds are going to speed and agility training to get an edge on (or worse, to keep up with) the competition. Travel teams are being eclipsed by elite club teams. Middle school kids are going to combines and showcase events so that they can get on college coaches' radar before they ever play a high school game. Parents are buying $200 basketball shoes, and $400 baseball bats. And kids are committing to playing a single sport, year-round, way too soon.
Look, I'm not one of those guys who always talks about how everything was better when I was a kid. I'm a realist. Things are different from when I was a kid, and most of the changes are for the better. Kids today, for instance, have more sports and activities available to them, and that's a good thing.
But I sure do wish we could all just dial the intensity down a little, and not make everything a life-or-death proposition. It's true: if my sons want to be better at basketball, they'll need to work on their jumpshots over the summer. But you know, if they prefer to spend their summer days hanging out with their friends at the pizza place instead of shooting jumpers for hours in the driveway, I'm going to be OK with that. And then, when their team gets blown out over the winter in some basketball tournament by some other team that plays together all year round, I'll be OK with that, too.
As a professional sports writer for over 20 years, I've spent most of my working life watching the best athletes in the world playing sports at the highest levels. And as a father of three young sons who all play sports, I spend much of my home life watching my kids and their friends play sports at the youth level. I love sports, at all levels. I love watching the pros do what they do, and I love watching the kids too. But I never look at the kids and mistake them for professional athletes.
Too often, I fear that some other folks have a harder time making the distinction between the two.
Here's what I see happening at the youth level: Youth sports are becoming too serious. They've become -- at the travel level, anyway -- too much like professional sports. The notion of playing sports because they're fun seems to have gotten lost, as coaches seem more concerned with winning than anything else. And everything seems to be about money.
Seven-year-olds are going to speed and agility training to get an edge on (or worse, to keep up with) the competition. Travel teams are being eclipsed by elite club teams. Middle school kids are going to combines and showcase events so that they can get on college coaches' radar before they ever play a high school game. Parents are buying $200 basketball shoes, and $400 baseball bats. And kids are committing to playing a single sport, year-round, way too soon.
Look, I'm not one of those guys who always talks about how everything was better when I was a kid. I'm a realist. Things are different from when I was a kid, and most of the changes are for the better. Kids today, for instance, have more sports and activities available to them, and that's a good thing.
But I sure do wish we could all just dial the intensity down a little, and not make everything a life-or-death proposition. It's true: if my sons want to be better at basketball, they'll need to work on their jumpshots over the summer. But you know, if they prefer to spend their summer days hanging out with their friends at the pizza place instead of shooting jumpers for hours in the driveway, I'm going to be OK with that. And then, when their team gets blown out over the winter in some basketball tournament by some other team that plays together all year round, I'll be OK with that, too.
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