It's good to win -- just not at all costs

The most famous thing the legendary Vince Lombardi ever said was that winning isn't everything; it's the only thing. It's a catchy line when you're talking about pro football, but not so much in youth sports.

Because, you see, in youth sports, winning is most definitely not the only thing. In youth sports, it's more important the kids have fun, develop their skills and understanding of the game, and maybe soak up a few life lessons along the way. 

I'm not saying winning isn't important; on the contrary, it's very important, because young players need to understand that, as the former Jets coach Herm Edwards said, you play to win the game. Young athletes need to learn that there are things a player needs to do if he or she wants to win: The player must work hard in practice, and often on his or her own time, outside of practice, to sharpen his or her skills; and he or she must make sacrifices where he or she puts the team first ahead of himself or herself.

But in youth sports, it's not about winning at all costs. And the coach needs to balance the need to win with the need to develop players. Developing players should always be a youth coach's top priority (after safety, of course), and that's where it can get complicated.

Kids always want to play for a winning team, so a coach who has a winning record will likely have lots of good players wanting to play for him or her. And attracting the best athletes is the best way to keep a team winning year after year. But if the coach is winning because he or she is consistently playing the best players the entire game and leaving the weakest players on the sideline, that's not good.

Friends of mine in the youth coaching business say a youth coach who consistently wins and wins big, may be doing so because he or she is developing teams to win, and not players. My friends believe a youth coach's job ought to be to teach his or her players the necessary skills; help them improve those skills, and then, through good tactics and play-calling, put the players in position to be able succeed on the field. It then becomes up to the players to win the game. If their skills and understanding of the game are good enough, they should win their share.

The other thing about youth sports that people sometimes seem to forget is that kids all grow and mature at different rates, and the best players on the second grade team aren't necessarily going to be the best players on the high school team. Some may not grow as much as others, or maybe they discover new pursuits and lose interest in the sport over the years. Conversely, there are kids who may not look like stars when they first start playing, but then they start to grow and change, and they end up being stars when they're older.

No matter how good or bad a kid looks when he or she is young, you can't know for certain what that kid will grow up to be. Keeping that in mind, I always figured the best course of action was to try and develop all the kids, and not just the best ones. That means playing everyone on the roster, and not leaving the starters in the entire game. It may mean a few less victories when the kids are little, but someday the high school coach may thank you.

Let's not forget: they're kids, not pros

I've been thinking about starting a blog on youth sports for a while now.

As a professional sports writer for over 20 years, I've spent most of my working life watching the best athletes in the world playing sports at the highest levels. And as a father of three young sons who all play sports, I spend much of my home life watching my kids and their friends play sports at the youth level. I love sports, at all levels. I love watching the pros do what they do, and I love watching the kids too. But I never look at the kids and mistake them for professional athletes.

Too often, I fear that some other folks have a harder time making the distinction between the two.

Here's what I see happening at the youth level: Youth sports are becoming too serious. They've become -- at the travel level, anyway -- too much like professional sports. The notion of playing sports because they're fun seems to have gotten lost, as coaches seem more concerned with winning than anything else. And everything seems to be about money.

Seven-year-olds are going to speed and agility training to get an edge on (or worse, to keep up with) the competition. Travel teams are being eclipsed by elite club teams. Middle school kids are going to combines and showcase events so that they can get on college coaches' radar before they ever play a high school game. Parents are buying $200 basketball shoes, and $400 baseball bats. And kids are committing to playing a single sport, year-round, way too soon.

Look, I'm not one of those guys who always talks about how everything was better when I was a kid. I'm a realist. Things are different from when I was a kid, and most of the changes are for the better. Kids today, for instance, have more sports and activities available to them, and that's a good thing.

But I sure do wish we could all just dial the intensity down a little, and not make everything a life-or-death proposition. It's true: if my sons want to be better at basketball, they'll need to work on their jumpshots over the summer. But you know, if they prefer to spend their summer days hanging out with their friends at the pizza place instead of shooting jumpers for hours in the driveway, I'm going to be OK with that. And then, when their team gets blown out over the winter in some basketball tournament by some other team that plays together all year round, I'll be OK with that, too.