They say a winner never quits, and a quitter never wins. But my general philosophy on life is that very few things are absolute, and so I try to stay away from words like "never'' and "always.''
Sometimes, we find ourselves in a bad situation, and from a moral, practical, safety or mental health perspective, walking away is absolutely the right decision. A handful of boys quit the high school lacrosse team this season, for various reasons -- ranging from an understanding they weren't good enough to earn the playing time they desired, to a realization that they had other commitments that were more important to them than playing lacrosse.
One boy who quit though, surprised almost everyone because he was was a good player, and contributed much to the team. Most of his teammates couldn't figure out why he left, but presumably it had something to do with the fact he wasn't playing as much as he thought he should. And if he really was so unhappy on the team, then no one should be mad at him for quitting, because the whole point of playing sports is to have fun.
But there's a difference between being truly miserable every day and being unhappy at a particular moment. In sports, the seasons are relatively short. They move fast, and are filled with ups and downs. You have to learn to navigate those, and work through them, appreciating the up periods and finding a way to overcome the down periods. That's one of those life lessons you get from sports -- if you stick with it, when it's all over, you'll actually appreciate going through those ups and downs, and your ultimate success will mean so much more.
Not everything is going to go your way all the time -- in sports, or in life. Sometimes you're going to have to fight your way through tough times, and sometimes, you're going to have to accept defeat, learn from it, start over again, work harder, and be better. Yes, sometimes it makes sense to quit, but if you quit too easily, you'll never learn how to deal with adversity, and that's a tool you'll need to have later in life.
The boy in question had started at another high school before transferring into our school after a couple years. He played two sports and when he initially came to our school, he quit one, apparently because he didn't make the varsity team. He did return to that sport for senior year and had a fine season. This lacrosse season, he was tested at his position by a freshman and apparently didn't appreciate sharing time.
The thing is, he was playing well, and if he'd stuck around, there was a chance he might have eventually taken over the job full time. He chose not to wait to give himself a chance to make that happen.
And that's the shame of it. I'm sure he doesn't see it this way, but I think his quitting probably will end up hurting him more than it did the team. After the initial shock, the team adjusted to his departure and moved on. The freshman he had been sharing time with began to grow into the position and the team settled and went on a winning streak. The boy who left gave up a chance to be a part of a winning team where he could have had some fun and created some lifelong memories. Instead, years from now, his old teammates might forget he even played.
Maybe his pride was hurt. But if pride and ego convinced him to bail out of a situation at the first sign of trouble, then I wonder what will happen next time this kid comes up against a problem or a hiccup in his life.
Will he have the ability to overcome it? Or will he just keep quitting?
