When is it time to take sports away?

I love watching sports as much as the next guy, obviously. But I never forget there are things in life more important than sports. So when I read about scandals involving athletes behaving badly, or I hear about student-athletes who don't seem to buy the idea that their academics should come before their athletics, I can't help but shake my head.

It's easy to say kids who aren't good kids, or who aren't doing what they need to do in the classroom shouldn't be allowed to play sports. But the reality is, it's more complicated than that.

Kids who are bullies or otherwise are behavior problems, that's one thing. But for kids who struggle academically, sometimes sports are an important outlet for them. A kid who has a hard time in the classroom but excels on the playing field may benefit from playing sports because it allows him or her to have a chance to feel good about himself or herself. Taking sports away from that kid, either as a punishment or an effort to give him or her more time to focus on the academic side, may actually do more harm than good overall.

My wife and I have a slightly different problem. One of our sons has been struggling in school of late. Not with the work, so much, as with the motivation to do the work. He's a smart kid and has always been a fine student. But seemingly all of a sudden, he's just stopped trying. We've tried everything we can think of -- yelling at him, reasoning with him, pleading with him, grounding him, enlisting his teachers' and coaches' help -- but so far nothing has worked. Taking sports away from him is the last card we have to play.

There's a lot to consider, however. First off, we're hoping this is simply a phase he's going through and he'll snap out of it eventually. He's a seventh grader, after all, and that's a tough and confusing time in a boy's life. We don't want to overreact. Second, we've spent money for him to play, so if he doesn't play, we've lost that money. And somewhere in the equation, there's the matter of how much the team needs him. He's a good athlete who works hard in practice, hustles on the field, and generally makes smart and timely plays that help the team. So taking him off the team hurts not only him, but the entire team. Do we want to hurt the entire team to make a point to our son?

But most importantly, there's this: taking sports away is the nuclear option. What if we do that and it doesn't work?

One of my friends pulled his son off the football team last fall because he felt he had run out of options, given his son's general attitude and behavior. I applauded my friend's strength in making this decision at the time. Now, though, my friend's son is insisting he doesn't intend to go back to football next season. He's 12 years old, and we presume he'll change his mind, but we can't be sure he will.

And so, with our son, we keep trying new things. We're in constant contact with his teachers, and we do hold him back from some of the extra things he enjoys doing. But pulling him from a team? That's a big step, one that may be a little too big for us right now. Still, it's a step we're always wondering if we'll ever have to take.

Jack of all trades, or master of one?

There are so many options for kids playing sports today, and one of those options is to play a single sport year-round. If your kid likes basketball, there are fall leagues and spring leagues and summer leagues you can sign him/her up for. If baseball is your thing, you can play in the spring, summer and fall, and then do winter training indoors until it's time to go back outside again.

My kids play a different sport every season, but that model isn't for everybody. Some kids only love one sport, or, for whatever reason, only want to play one sport. Hey, whatever works. 

The main thing that matters is parents need to be sure that it's the player who's making the decision to specialize in a single sport, and not a coach or a club team that is pushing for a year-round commitment too soon. I remember years ago, friends of my wife and I telling us they'd been encouraged by their daughter's gymnastics club to have their daughter give up all other sports and start dedicating her time to gymnastics only. She was, I think, 6 or 7 years old at the time. Our friends declined.

So, while understanding that some kids are just going to be one-sport kids, for the majority, it's probably better to play multiple sports over the course of a year. It helps with conditioning, of course, but also exercises different muscles, and helps avert boredom. And sometimes, lessons learned playing one sport can even help in another. My friend Jim, who coaches high school and youth lacrosse, believes kids should play more than one sport for as long as they can. Multi-sport athletes are "well-rounded,'' Jim said, and that's a good thing.

But the most important benefit to playing multiple sports often is the simplest one: For some folks, doing the same thing all the time, all year-round, can eventually start to feel like more of a job than fun. Never forget -- sports are supposed to be fun.

"The biggest thing is, if they play different sports, you avoid the kids 'burning out,''' Jim said. "You keep them fresh by changing it up.''

Try not to take it too far, though. Multiple sports in a year is one thing; multiple sports in a season is something completely different. Sometimes, it can't be helped -- like, if your kid plays travel soccer, there's usually has a spring season as well as a fall season. That means if a travel soccer player also wants to play a "spring sport,'' like baseball or lacrosse, mom and dad are going to be in for a crazy spring.